Bang!

It's July and "Bang" seems to be the theme thus far. Of course you except some bang on the 4th of July and this year was no exception. Part of DJ and fam, Kelli and fam, & Kurt, Cooper & I staked our spot on Central Ave. to watch the annual 4th of July Parade. We were there for over 2 hours. It was a fabulous parade, but 2 hours is a long time with 4 small children, 1 nearby smoker, and melting ice cream. Later, the guys lit off our fireworks which are always a hit. This year the only injury belongs to me with a slight burn on my finger from trying to stick a still hot sparkler into the box so it wouldn't end up on the ground somewhere.

Another bang we can't seem to get away from is the bang of thunder as storm, after storm, after storm rolls in. The 4th of July ended with the bang of a storm and a 4 hour blackout.


Kurt called 911 when he heard two bangs late one night. He's pretty good at deciphering gunshots from fireworks, but I think some manufacturer tricked him.

We have been also lacking in the "bang, bang, bang on the door" department. No one has knocked down our door to steal our beautiful home in Meridian which sits empty and forlorn, just looking for a loving family. In addition, no one has knocked down my door to hire me. It's a bit sad for me as I've just been waiting to teach and now no one wants to retire.

Now that I've banged this post out, it's time to bang out some homework.

ps. I promise I won't do another play on words post for at least a week or so!

Oh Wo!

Wisdom teeth. The troublemakers of one's mouth. Prior to moving, our fantastic friend & dentist offered to remove the last 3 of Hunter's wisdom teeth. Hunter was up for it, so off he went. I think he would have dragged his feet a bit more if he knew what was coming.

The tooth pulling went as fine as could be expected. This was about 10 days before we moved. Hunter lumbered down to the basement to recover in his cave. The first few days, he managed the discomfort with the X-men Trilogy and vicodin. Monday, things took a turn for the worse (we moved that Saturday). He was in so much pain, but couldn't miss any school because he had to finish out his semester early.

He looked miserable and was barely holding it together. Tuesday he walked in from school & wept (which he never does) because the pain was too much. We took him back to the dentist to find out he had 2 dry sockets. Figures. Hunter is the man of many strange anomalies. For the next 3 days he went in every day to get the holes packed and then would rest. Needless to say, he couldn't help much with the move but I'm so happy he was almost healed by the time we headed out and now we don't have to worry about that issue any more.

Edith continued...

The final meeting of Archie has lost it's zing a big seeing as I haven't been on in so long, but I need to write it down or I'll forget it for sure.

Prior to leaving Meridian, I gave Archie the name, address, and phone number of our storage unit with the following instructions, "Someone from the office has to let you in with a key, so make sure to call and let them know the time you will be arriving." I told him this twice. **Foreshadowing Alert**

Tuesday morning, the day the truck was to arrive, my phone rang at 8:20am. Archie. He wanted to let me know that they were at the storage unit but no one was there to let them in. I asked if he called ahead of time and he ignored me, but told me to get there when I could. So I got ready and made it there about 9:15 am at which time I went to the office (right in front of Archie, his truck & crew) where a sign explicitly stated the office didn't open until....10am. Archie was a bit crabby, so Hunter & I took off for a bit and when we got back an hour later, Archie and entourage were in the gate and unloading.

I let him know I was looking for 3 boxes to pull out, my computer, my monitor, and our printer. They found the monitor and the printer in the first hour of unloading (Hunter & I were there in the hot, hot sun for 5 and a half hours while they unloaded). We made our usual donut and drink run, but Archie did not partake of the non-Krispy Kreme donuts. As the day went on, the processor was no where to be found. In an act of pure non-Archiness, Archie apologized over & over because they couldn't find it (not his fault at all). I was close to tears as my dearest Archie drove off and my processor was no where in sight.

Summer classes were going to start and I need some specific programs on my processor. I drove home & waited for Kurt to come home so I could lean on him for a bit. As I told him my sad tale, he reassured me we would find it before classes started. He decided to set up the printer in the meantime. I went to open the door to our lovely office space Kelli & Mike cleaned out for us when lo and behold...there was my processor sitting in a box on the desk. I turned my eyes on Kurt with a look of wonder to which he exclaimed, "YOU MADE me put that in my van to bring here". It didn't matter that he was in the wrong as usual, all that mattered was my processor was in arms reach. Sorry Archie, all that looking for nothing. Until we meet again (hopefully never in this capacity)!

EDITH!

Meet the moving truck driver. You may recognize him. We had the pleasure of interacting with this crusty on the outside, somewhat mushy on the inside with a dash of boundary issues persona during our manic move to Montana.

The day before the movers were supposed to show up, I received a call from the mover's office telling me our driver would be contacting us by 3pm that afternoon to let us know when he was going to show up on move day..Friday. Of course, there was no phone call, so we figured they were running late and would show until about noon on Friday. Keep in mind, we had all of our things boxed up and ready to throw in the truck.

Friday morning, with a stomach full of agitation, I got up and started getting ready. I happened to walk past the front room window when low & behold a HUGE moving semi rounded the corner. I ran to check the time: 8:05 am. Kurt & I about fell over. This began our adventure with Archie. He was a mumbling, grumbling kind of guy who brought 2 box lifters with him. He would throw little jabs at them here & there and then talk about how marvelous they were. I read you are supposed to feed the movers if they are there during meal time, so I asked if they would like some donuts. Archie replies, "What kind of donuts? I'm very picky about the type of donuts I'll eat." I told him I was headed to Krispy Kreme and, with a glint of a grin he said, "Those are the only type of donuts I like. Want me to ride along with you?".

Well that threw me for a loop. Come with me? That wasn't going to happen and when I started listing all the places I needed to go he stated, "Well, I better stay. I need to supervise the guys anyway". PHEW! After getting the donuts and drinks, I figured they would be out of there in a couple of hours. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would take them 8 hours to load my boxes. I quit feeding them, hoping the hunger would drive them. Sometimes I would hide in a vacant room, curl up in the fetal position, and rock away my worries. Meanwhile, Archie was telling Kurt to disassemble this & disassemble that and reminding the "lifters' that if they couldn't get it right he would have to show them how it's done. Oh my. When they finally left, a feeling of sweet relief washed over me, but Archie and I would meet again...on the other side of the mountain. To be continued....

Thinkin' Employment

Now that we've been in Great Falls for less than a week, I've really begun to think about employment. Of course, my number one hopeful desire, is to be a teacher, but it seems they don't have as many openings as I once thought, so I started browsing the job service employment site to see the types of jobs I could possibly qualify for. Let me reiterate: I would really LOVE to be teaching in the fall, but sometimes you have to be open to other possibilities.

I'm a woman of many talents. If there is a need for someone who still likes to do a little moonwalking, I'm the gal for the job. If someone desperately needs a warm body to browse through their fantasticly manicured yard to ooohhhh and ahhhh...call me. If a special someone is searching for a person talented in hiding and then jumping out and scaring people, I'm a pro. As I looked through the Great Falls employment listings, I came a cross a spectacular one, but I'm fairly certain I'm not qualified. If you know someone who can hold their breath for a long time, doesn't mind a humid environment, and has great physical endurance, send them to my blog for the following job information:

Mermaid / 1363925
Wage $10.00 Hourly Location GREAT FALLS, CASCADE, MT, 59403
Local Motel/Lounge seeks a part-time Mermaid. Wage is $10.00 per hour plus tips. Must be a great swimmer and have swimming experience, as will be swimming in pool for the entire shift. Ability to work in chlorinated water, hold your breath for long periods of time, perform in front of public, great physical endurance and work in humid environment. Will work 10 hours per week to include every Friday and Saturday from 8:30 PM TO 1:30 AM. Essential functions: Swimming, holding breath for long periods of time, good physical conditioning, swimming in front of public.
Open Date 5/18/2009 Close Date
Days Off Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Sun
Openings 1 Work Schedule 8:30 pm to 1:30 am each Fri & Sat
Lifting Capacity Up to 20 lbs

39 (for reals)

For all of you who haven't heard, I had a birthday yesterday and I loved every minute of it. I turned 39, for reals, not 39 and holding, just 39.

I had lots of birthday wishes from friends and family through phone calls, facebook and websites. A couple of my favorite stores sent me birthday wishes and, as a special gift, my possible jury duty trial was settled out of court so I didn't have to go in.

After cleaning the tops of my cupboards (note to self, cupboards that extend to the ceiling in the next house), Kurt took me out to lunch for my free Red Robin veggie birthday burger. After which he surprised me with an unexpected, drama filled stop by the unemployment office to finish some moving company details.

We came home and Kurt took Hunter to run an errand and to get movie tickets while Cooper went to a friends house for the evening. All of the sudden, I was completely alone...and I liked it...for a minute. Kurt dropped Hunter off before heading to the movie, threw my gifts on the bed, and told me to open them when I want. That guy is a keeper. So, I coaxed Hunter up so I could open the one from Kurt in front of someone and I saved the one from Cooper to open in front of him.

Then, I went to a store I've been wanting to visit with my friend Alicia who then took me to my Walleyball party...and what a party it was. I had the best candy gram given to me and they ordered my favorite giant cookie from my favorite cookie place. They dressed me up like Strawberry Shortcake meets the Hawaiian Tropica model and sent me on to the court, but I eventually had to disrobe...too distracting.

Afterward, a few of us went out for a bit to eat. Those ladies know how to keep me up late at night. I'm sure going to miss all my wonderful friends here. I've learned so much from each of them. Thanks for making my birthday so memorable.

ps. I waited for Cooper to get up this morning to open his gift. When he walked in the room I said, "Coop, I waited to open this until you could watch". He responded, "Why?" to which I replied, "Because it's from you". I opened up the gifts & thanked him but he only said, "I didn't get that for you," and walked away. Another keeper.

Exhibitionist in the Making

This past weekend was a rare treat, a girls only trip for the ladies in my family. We headed to Colorado Springs to spend Mother's Day with my parents. I'll tell you a bit more about that trip in a different post. This post is dedicated to the unexpected accosting I was the recipient of at the Boise Airport

Misti & I flew out of Boise together. After my good friend Shawna drove us to the airport, we checked our bags & headed to security. I gave the uniformed gentlemen my I.D. and then headed for the x-ray machines. Somehow, a non-girl ended up between Misti and I, so I graciously let him step in front of me so Misti and I could gawk at people together.

I took off my shoes & jacket, placing them in a container and then put my juvenile looking backpack in the next one. As I started to move toward the conveyor belt, a woman opened a magical glass door and, with a smile, ushered me in. FOREBODING: Feeling a bit comical, I said, "I know you are trying to make me think I won something, but I know what you are up to", when in hindsight, I had NO idea.

The kind, girl-next-door officer said she was going to have to wand me and if it went off, she would have to pat me down in the area. She then offered a private room to which I replied (still feeling giddy), "Only if you are going to touch any private areas" to which she replied, still smiling, "I may have to pat down your behind, but I'll use the back of my gloved hand". That was a huge red flag I missed.

So, I stood with my arms held out to the side (you have to be in shape and a showgirl for this situation) while she started to wand me. The first place she stopped: My bosomy area. You see, I wear an underwire bra made out of plastic explosives...or so the wand thought. The patting began, all over my bosomy area and between the girls, in front of everyone. Now, that may have silenced some people, but it brought out the embarrassing giggly girl in me. So, I said to Misti, I guess kind of loudly, "I just got felt up". Guess what? When you say something like that, all men look in your direction. It's true. It was a hypothesis before, but I proved it on this trip.

Then, there was this little girl, staring at me like I was a peculiar animal in a cage. The now, not so friendly, touchy security lady asked if she was my daughter to which I responded, "No, she's just in enjoying the show". Those security people totally lack a sense of humor. Also, whenever I would make eye contact with Misti, she would blush and then avert her eyes.

After getting my rear patted, pulling the top of my pants down (hope you all enjoyed my silkies) and watching my security guard go from friendly to way TOO friendly, I was out of there.

Note to self: Don't ever let someone cut in front of you in the airport security line and don't wear an underwire bra and take the private room.