This past weekend was a rare treat, a girls only trip for the ladies in my family. We headed to Colorado Springs to spend Mother's Day with my parents. I'll tell you a bit more about that trip in a different post. This post is dedicated to the unexpected accosting I was the recipient of at the Boise Airport
Misti & I flew out of Boise together. After my good friend Shawna drove us to the airport, we checked our bags & headed to security. I gave the uniformed gentlemen my I.D. and then headed for the x-ray machines. Somehow, a non-girl ended up between Misti and I, so I graciously let him step in front of me so Misti and I could gawk at people together.
I took off my shoes & jacket, placing them in a container and then put my juvenile looking backpack in the next one. As I started to move toward the conveyor belt, a woman opened a magical glass door and, with a smile, ushered me in. FOREBODING: Feeling a bit comical, I said, "I know you are trying to make me think I won something, but I know what you are up to", when in hindsight, I had NO idea. The kind, girl-next-door officer said she was going to have to wand me and if it went off, she would have to pat me down in the area. She then offered a private room to which I replied (still feeling giddy), "Only if you are going to touch any private areas" to which she replied, still smiling, "I may have to pat down your behind, but I'll use the back of my gloved hand". That was a huge red flag I missed. So, I stood with my arms held out to the side (you have to be in shape and a showgirl for this situation) while she started to wand me. The first place she stopped: My bosomy area. You see, I wear an underwire bra made out of plastic explosives...or so the wand thought. The patting began, all over my bosomy area and between the girls, in front of everyone. Now, that may have silenced some people, but it brought out the embarrassing giggly girl in me. So, I said to Misti, I guess kind of loudly, "I just got felt up". Guess what? When you say something like that, all men look in your direction. It's true. It was a hypothesis before, but I proved it on this trip. Then, there was this little girl, staring at me like I was a peculiar animal in a cage. The now, not so friendly, touchy security lady asked if she was my daughter to which I responded, "No, she's just in enjoying the show". Those security people totally lack a sense of humor. Also, whenever I would make eye contact with Misti, she would blush and then avert her eyes. After getting my rear patted, pulling the top of my pants down (hope you all enjoyed my silkies) and watching my security guard go from friendly to way TOO friendly, I was out of there. Note to self: Don't ever let someone cut in front of you in the airport security line and don't wear an underwire bra and take the private room.
Misti & I flew out of Boise together. After my good friend Shawna drove us to the airport, we checked our bags & headed to security. I gave the uniformed gentlemen my I.D. and then headed for the x-ray machines. Somehow, a non-girl ended up between Misti and I, so I graciously let him step in front of me so Misti and I could gawk at people together.
I took off my shoes & jacket, placing them in a container and then put my juvenile looking backpack in the next one. As I started to move toward the conveyor belt, a woman opened a magical glass door and, with a smile, ushered me in. FOREBODING: Feeling a bit comical, I said, "I know you are trying to make me think I won something, but I know what you are up to", when in hindsight, I had NO idea. The kind, girl-next-door officer said she was going to have to wand me and if it went off, she would have to pat me down in the area. She then offered a private room to which I replied (still feeling giddy), "Only if you are going to touch any private areas" to which she replied, still smiling, "I may have to pat down your behind, but I'll use the back of my gloved hand". That was a huge red flag I missed. So, I stood with my arms held out to the side (you have to be in shape and a showgirl for this situation) while she started to wand me. The first place she stopped: My bosomy area. You see, I wear an underwire bra made out of plastic explosives...or so the wand thought. The patting began, all over my bosomy area and between the girls, in front of everyone. Now, that may have silenced some people, but it brought out the embarrassing giggly girl in me. So, I said to Misti, I guess kind of loudly, "I just got felt up". Guess what? When you say something like that, all men look in your direction. It's true. It was a hypothesis before, but I proved it on this trip. Then, there was this little girl, staring at me like I was a peculiar animal in a cage. The now, not so friendly, touchy security lady asked if she was my daughter to which I responded, "No, she's just in enjoying the show". Those security people totally lack a sense of humor. Also, whenever I would make eye contact with Misti, she would blush and then avert her eyes. After getting my rear patted, pulling the top of my pants down (hope you all enjoyed my silkies) and watching my security guard go from friendly to way TOO friendly, I was out of there. Note to self: Don't ever let someone cut in front of you in the airport security line and don't wear an underwire bra and take the private room.
3 comments:
Oh so sorry that happened to you... but it did make for a funny story!
Just re-living that situation by reading your post made blood rush to my face....now, my question is, why didn't blood rush to the security girl's face? hmmmm.....note to self- maybe being chestless isn't too bad!
I reallllllllllllly wish I could have been there. I'm pretty sure I could have trumped your commentary and for sure made Misti pass out.
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