Future Blogger on the prowl

My mother-in-law sent me an email about a recent aqualiscious experience and I thought I would put it on my blog. She definitely has a way with words! Enjoy.

"I have a story of my own that just this very last two and one half hours transpired in my bathtub. You would think by the time you hit the ripe old age of 62 you could clean a tub without the by now long fading images of the Sorcerer's Apprentice haunting you. The thing is, we have never had a jetted tub before and though I clean the surface of it regularly, I only just recently found out that in the pvc plumbing running around the outside from jet to jet, there could be nasty little creatures hiding out and GROWING. Yuck. So to make a long story long, this unlucky morning I decided to do away with these little nasties. Supposedly following directions by memory (Linda never writes directions down, or if she does can't find them anyway), I poured in one cup of bleach and what I estimated to be 1/4 cup of dish detergent to a tub filling with the shower water. I figured that would mix it up good and bubble a little. You know the commercial about scrubbing bubbles? Well, knowing my water pressure to be what has come to be know as f-o-r-e-v-e-r s-l-o-w, I mixed the stinky brew, gave it a bit of a swish, and due to the now reeking smell, promptly put on the fan and left the room, closing the door behind me (hoping Ben wouldn't pass out in the front yard where he was working). By now, with all this build up, I know you are expecting me to say I forgot the whole mess and let the tub run over and the bleach ruined my carpet. Not so. This responsible homemaker kept checking in every 15 minutes (while holding my nose) because I had to wait until the water level was well over all the jets before turning them on. (There is another story about the time I didn't wait. Let me just say that premature turning on of the blower sprays the entire bathroom and anything and everything in it with incredible force. Only took once to learn that lesson.) Back to the rest of the story......Finally the time came to push the button and everything seemed to be going just fine. So once again I quickly left the room and closed the door because due to the action of the turbulent water, the smell was worse than ever. After a few minutes I decided to just give it a quick peek and make sure all was well. To my horror, my entire tub had a two foot head of very dense suds on it.! It was clear to the top of the tub and not waiting to even shut the door, I shot out for Ben's help to push the button off because it was so slippery I couldn't do it myself. In the few seconds it took Ben to remove his muddy boots, I ran in to post guard on the growing mess, only to find it had grown another foot. Luckily, due to the fact that the foam was do stiff and dense, it continued to grow upwards, maintaining the shape of the tub. Well, Ben just laughed and pushed the button. The button went down, stuck in that position, but the blower was still going full force. The suddddddddddddsy mess was still growing. Ben stopped laughing. (Can you imagine my mental state?) He pulled the little bench out at the end of the tub that allows access to the electrical plug for the blower, etc. and pulled the plug. The blower stopped. The suds stopped, topping off somewhere about 2 feet above the tub, straight up and Ben was reeling due to the awful smell of the bleach. I then had to strip from the waist down to climb into the tub, one leg only, to hit the release at the bottom of the tub so the water could drain. Ben turned on the shower, assured me the suds would implode and clear out by itself and made a hasty retreat. I sponged the bleachy, slimy suds off and redressed. All the while I could see out of the corner of my eye that little progress was being made on the Sorcerer's Suds.First I tried to coax the mountainous suds from the ends of the tub (with my hands) to the middle where the shower spray was doing a feeble job of ridding me of my mess. It was also slimy and stinky and I nearly went head long into the whole thing. So being the resourceful homemaker that I am, I went for the broom. (Conjures up Mickey Mouse, eh?) Well, after an hour of pushing suds around in my tub with a broom, I got the job done. My tub is clean, my broom is clean, my bathroom, in fact, entire house as well as myself smell slightly of bleach and no one would guess that only a few short hours ago my jetted tub had a two foot head of foam on it. And it wasn't even bathtub gin. Problem is, the button is still stuck in the down position and I can only guess what will happen as he tries to fix it if he plugs the cord in and the blower is still going. Remember there may be some residual bleach suds lurking in that plumbing. One thing I know for sure, I have killed off any possible nasty germs in my tub, on my broom and on my right leg and both arms. I have saved the day as well as the bathroom. I only hope when I go for my haircut at noon that she doesn't asked me if I have just bleached my evergraying hair."