Thinkin' Employment

Now that we've been in Great Falls for less than a week, I've really begun to think about employment. Of course, my number one hopeful desire, is to be a teacher, but it seems they don't have as many openings as I once thought, so I started browsing the job service employment site to see the types of jobs I could possibly qualify for. Let me reiterate: I would really LOVE to be teaching in the fall, but sometimes you have to be open to other possibilities.

I'm a woman of many talents. If there is a need for someone who still likes to do a little moonwalking, I'm the gal for the job. If someone desperately needs a warm body to browse through their fantasticly manicured yard to ooohhhh and ahhhh...call me. If a special someone is searching for a person talented in hiding and then jumping out and scaring people, I'm a pro. As I looked through the Great Falls employment listings, I came a cross a spectacular one, but I'm fairly certain I'm not qualified. If you know someone who can hold their breath for a long time, doesn't mind a humid environment, and has great physical endurance, send them to my blog for the following job information:

Mermaid / 1363925
Wage $10.00 Hourly Location GREAT FALLS, CASCADE, MT, 59403
Local Motel/Lounge seeks a part-time Mermaid. Wage is $10.00 per hour plus tips. Must be a great swimmer and have swimming experience, as will be swimming in pool for the entire shift. Ability to work in chlorinated water, hold your breath for long periods of time, perform in front of public, great physical endurance and work in humid environment. Will work 10 hours per week to include every Friday and Saturday from 8:30 PM TO 1:30 AM. Essential functions: Swimming, holding breath for long periods of time, good physical conditioning, swimming in front of public.
Open Date 5/18/2009 Close Date
Days Off Mon, Tue, Wed, Thu, Sun
Openings 1 Work Schedule 8:30 pm to 1:30 am each Fri & Sat
Lifting Capacity Up to 20 lbs

39 (for reals)

For all of you who haven't heard, I had a birthday yesterday and I loved every minute of it. I turned 39, for reals, not 39 and holding, just 39.

I had lots of birthday wishes from friends and family through phone calls, facebook and websites. A couple of my favorite stores sent me birthday wishes and, as a special gift, my possible jury duty trial was settled out of court so I didn't have to go in.

After cleaning the tops of my cupboards (note to self, cupboards that extend to the ceiling in the next house), Kurt took me out to lunch for my free Red Robin veggie birthday burger. After which he surprised me with an unexpected, drama filled stop by the unemployment office to finish some moving company details.

We came home and Kurt took Hunter to run an errand and to get movie tickets while Cooper went to a friends house for the evening. All of the sudden, I was completely alone...and I liked it...for a minute. Kurt dropped Hunter off before heading to the movie, threw my gifts on the bed, and told me to open them when I want. That guy is a keeper. So, I coaxed Hunter up so I could open the one from Kurt in front of someone and I saved the one from Cooper to open in front of him.

Then, I went to a store I've been wanting to visit with my friend Alicia who then took me to my Walleyball party...and what a party it was. I had the best candy gram given to me and they ordered my favorite giant cookie from my favorite cookie place. They dressed me up like Strawberry Shortcake meets the Hawaiian Tropica model and sent me on to the court, but I eventually had to disrobe...too distracting.

Afterward, a few of us went out for a bit to eat. Those ladies know how to keep me up late at night. I'm sure going to miss all my wonderful friends here. I've learned so much from each of them. Thanks for making my birthday so memorable.

ps. I waited for Cooper to get up this morning to open his gift. When he walked in the room I said, "Coop, I waited to open this until you could watch". He responded, "Why?" to which I replied, "Because it's from you". I opened up the gifts & thanked him but he only said, "I didn't get that for you," and walked away. Another keeper.

Exhibitionist in the Making

This past weekend was a rare treat, a girls only trip for the ladies in my family. We headed to Colorado Springs to spend Mother's Day with my parents. I'll tell you a bit more about that trip in a different post. This post is dedicated to the unexpected accosting I was the recipient of at the Boise Airport

Misti & I flew out of Boise together. After my good friend Shawna drove us to the airport, we checked our bags & headed to security. I gave the uniformed gentlemen my I.D. and then headed for the x-ray machines. Somehow, a non-girl ended up between Misti and I, so I graciously let him step in front of me so Misti and I could gawk at people together.

I took off my shoes & jacket, placing them in a container and then put my juvenile looking backpack in the next one. As I started to move toward the conveyor belt, a woman opened a magical glass door and, with a smile, ushered me in. FOREBODING: Feeling a bit comical, I said, "I know you are trying to make me think I won something, but I know what you are up to", when in hindsight, I had NO idea.

The kind, girl-next-door officer said she was going to have to wand me and if it went off, she would have to pat me down in the area. She then offered a private room to which I replied (still feeling giddy), "Only if you are going to touch any private areas" to which she replied, still smiling, "I may have to pat down your behind, but I'll use the back of my gloved hand". That was a huge red flag I missed.

So, I stood with my arms held out to the side (you have to be in shape and a showgirl for this situation) while she started to wand me. The first place she stopped: My bosomy area. You see, I wear an underwire bra made out of plastic explosives...or so the wand thought. The patting began, all over my bosomy area and between the girls, in front of everyone. Now, that may have silenced some people, but it brought out the embarrassing giggly girl in me. So, I said to Misti, I guess kind of loudly, "I just got felt up". Guess what? When you say something like that, all men look in your direction. It's true. It was a hypothesis before, but I proved it on this trip.

Then, there was this little girl, staring at me like I was a peculiar animal in a cage. The now, not so friendly, touchy security lady asked if she was my daughter to which I responded, "No, she's just in enjoying the show". Those security people totally lack a sense of humor. Also, whenever I would make eye contact with Misti, she would blush and then avert her eyes.

After getting my rear patted, pulling the top of my pants down (hope you all enjoyed my silkies) and watching my security guard go from friendly to way TOO friendly, I was out of there.

Note to self: Don't ever let someone cut in front of you in the airport security line and don't wear an underwire bra and take the private room.

Alter Ego: Shaggy Montana

Escaping from a time portal and entering this era is the creepy perv you used to see trolling the roller rink. He looks harmless, but there's always a little bit of spittle sliding out the side of his mouth and his eyes always seem somewhat weepy.

In full leather and metallic attire, he slips on his white roller skates and finds himself where ever small groups of young girls are congregated. Sadly, they aren't even aware he is there. Be safe girls. Be safe.

Shake your Prom Prom

I knew Hunter was going to prom and that's about all I knew. Boys don't get giddy and they are pretty tightlipped about their plans which can only make a mom anxious.

The first shock of the day was when Hunter asked where his jeans were. That may not seem like an abnormal questions for most mothers, but I happen to know that Hunter doesn't wear jeans. I know that because I have spent money on jeans that sit in his closet year after year. This was a paparazzo moment.

The 2nd shock was the entire prom date. Did you know in the Boise, Idaho, area that prom isn't just a dance? It's an all day affair. ALL DAY. Hunter was out the door at 10:30am and got home at 1:30am (today). First, they went to the mall to play some game like cops & robbers. I hope they weren't being literal.

Next, they went to Panda Express, got food and went to the park. Somehow, it didn't start to rain again until they were leaving.











Then, it was home for about an hour to get ready (those poor girls). Hunter barely made it and it usually takes him about 6 minutes to get ready for the day.

They were supposed to meet at our house at 4:15pm for pics, but, not surprisingly, the deadline lapsed. I left at 4:45 and they were still waiting for 2 couples. Kurt became the photog and probably did better than I usually do.



Note: The fabulous corsage was made by Kristin Whitby. Isn't it gorgeous??



They guys took the girls to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, then went to the park for formal pictures, then off to the prom. Hunter drove his date and Calvin + date in my fancy Ford Escort that he has cluttered up. Classy. After prom, from what I know, they went to John Doe's house and watched a video. I loved getting to see all the girls in their beautiful dresses. Hunter's date is a doll and is a friend of Hunter's which makes prom a lot more fun. Now this sporadic annual event can be crossed of the list. PHEW!