Pass the Kleenex

Cough. Runny Nose.  Barf. Pain behind the eyeballs.  Breathing in Dust. Stuffy Nose. Fever. Fatigue.  Loss of appetite. The other end. Less smiles.  Less laughs.  Less notes. 

All around a brutal winter.  We want our healthy Coop back. 

Ontongeny and the Man Child

Hunter is in such a strange position in life.  He purports independence yet clings to playful opportunitites.  He stands at the fork of a road, not knowing where to take his next step.  I remember when he was a child, standing between my car and my parents house, sobbing because he couldn't decide whether to stay with Grandma & Grandpa, or come home with me.  This happened frequently and I was always perplexed by the situation. Yet, the past 7 months have found him in this same place.  I have been heartsick, wanting him to plant his feet, to take a stand, to commit. 


Today he did.  It was his choice, his decision and I had to let go of my immediate hopes for him and recognize the importance of this  moment.  He took a step down his path.  I could read it all over his face, the weight of this choice.  There will definitely be refining moments ahead as he works his way through boot camp and tech school, but those moments are necessary for growth.  My prayer for him is when the fire gets hot and the path gets lonely, he will turn to the one and only being who can bring peace and comfort to his soul, his Savior, Jesus Christ.

Hunter has so much to offer, so much to give. He will accomplish anything he sets his mind to.  This is his time to realize his potential, the potential I have seen all along. 

Not Guilt, Just Moments

For awhile I was feeling guilty about my sporadic blogging over the past 18 months or so.  Hmmm...what could be the cause of that?  Let's see, job loss, move with all of our stuff in storage, full time employment and masters classes, the rotating of house guests, move, unpack, and, of course, we are now repacking to move again.  I'm just going to relish the moments I get a chance to journal.

I wanted to make note of a sweet gesture by my little (12 now) Coops.  Yesterday was hard.  I'm not sure why, but I was feeling the weight of life's circumstances and reflecting on how I could have been a better mother.  It wasn't pretty and Cooper happened to come into my room in a moment of weakness to see me crying.  He crawled up on my bed and wrapped his arms around me.  He whispered in my ear, "I love you.  It will be okay."  Then he left.

About 10 minutes later I heard him yell, "Mom, come out, I'm ready".  I stepped out in to the hall to see a note at the end of the hall, on the floor, that read, "Dear Mom, I love you with all my heart.  I know tha tyou are going through a hard time, but we will help u get through it.  Follow these pictures to get ur prize!  love, Coops". 

I followed a trail of little colored pictures to a blanket fort where he jumped out and embraced me.  Those are the moments I need to remember, to have in reserve for the days that are difficult. How blessed am I?