Sunday, September 13, 2009

Identity Crisis


On Friday, after helping students in one of our computer labs, a student came up to me and asked if I was the "technology expert" for the middle school. Kurt happened to be visiting me at the moment, so I deflected the student toward him but it did make me wonder about my new identity as a working mom. Who am I? Last year at this time I would have quickly replied, "I'm a stay at home mom, wife and student". I'm now a mom, wife, student and teacher, but none of those labels really capture who I feel I am.


I was visiting with my Grandma and she was telling me that she can't think of one thing she is an expert of. I feel the same way. People who are true experts in their field cannot separate their identity from their expertise. They are so entwined they can't be completely distinct. Those people win the Nobel Peace Prize, have highly successful careers in the arts, are the top of their field in athletics, etc. My identity is one of a dabbler. The closest thing that defines me is my religious beliefs. They are tied to my soul and cannot be untangled. Other than that, I have a lot of things I feel comfortable with but not one thing I solely focus on. I'm okay with that.


So when people as me what I do, the list is too long to name. It's as if they are asking me to bundle all of my interests and intriques in a few short words. It just can't be done. I'll let all the experts of their fields continue to make impressive and sometimes frightening societal changes while I work in the background doing good where I can and learning from others. What do I do? I'm a dabbler. What are you?

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