Skin Cancer is Ugly (Warning: Graphic Image)

At 41 I've had skin cancer.  I guess it shouldn't come as a surprise.  I have fair skin, freckles, blue eyes.  I wasn't a sun lover, hated laying out like my friends, but I have had a few bad sunburns in my time.  My Grandma has had multiple skin cancers.  My Dad has had multiple skin cancers.  He's had melanoma, the worst of all skin cancers.  Luckily, his was caught at the earliest stages.  Still, it was a surprise.  It just was. 

Last February I had a little abrasion appear on my shoulder.  I just scraped it off and didn't think much about it, but it kept coming back until it formed a little oval, about the size of a pencil eraser if they were oval.  It caught my attention often because it just wouldn't go away, but it didn't look like a mole.  Then, when I found the lump in May and went into my doctor's office, I also mentioned the little abrasion.  My doctor told me I should get it checked out. This sounds simple enough, but there just aren't a sufficient amount of dermatologists in Great Falls, so she recommended a clinic in Helena.  The receptionist called and set up an appointment for me.

With all the breast biopsy stuff going on, the abrasion was overshadowed.  Then, in August, my cousin, grandmother, sister and I made a day of it in Helena as I went to have my little abrasion checked.  This doctor felt it needed to be biopsied, and she cut it off.  Before I left the office, she told me she thought it was basal cell carcinoma, but wouldn't know until it was analyzed.  I was glad she planted that possibility in my mind because the call telling me it was didn't catch me as off guard as it would have.

I was told the next step was Mohs surgery and the soonest they could fit me in was Oct. 19th. (The doctor only does them on Wednesdays).  Basal cell is a highly common form of skin cancer and very treatable, so I wasn't overwhelmed with worry.  Kurt, Cooper & I went to Helena and made a fun day of it as the surgery wasn't until almost 2pm.  Right before surgery was a full body check in which they did 2 more biopsies.  I'll get the results in a week.  The surgery took about an hour and a half.  I was very blessed that the doctor got it all the first time.

Today I removed the bandages.  I was caught off guard once again.  That little oblong eraser end was much more menacing than it appeared.  Skin cancers can be like icebergs, we only see the tip.  I feel a little like Frankenstein, which is appropriate for October.  This is my story, my experience.  Everyone's is unique.  I don't like to show off my skin, at all.  I'm a bit prudish.  In this case though, I want my family, my children, to realize the importance of listening to the Spirit, of following those promptings, of paying attention, of knowing your family history.  I don't even want to know what this would have involved had I put it off even longer.  Skin cancer is ugly.  The picture below is ugly.  Knowing the cancer is gone is beautiful.

Ramblings of a Couch Potato

It's a week and a half post surgery and I think I'm at about 80% of my old self.  I don't really like it.  All of the sudden laying in bed and never leaving sounds enticing.  Not pretty, but not surprising.  I had my post op appointment yesterday.  The bad news: I will feel lethargic for a few weeks.  It will take a few months for my insides to heal.  The good news:  It's okay if I'm not all that hungry, that will subside.  I'll never have to worry about my gall bladder again. As for now, I'm panicking.  Having  nightmares.  How does one teach having a bout of low energy?  How am I going to get up on time?  How am I going to efficiently put away books with my 20 lb lifting restriction?  If there isn't something to worry about...I'll make something up.

So last night I was alone and, of course, didn't sleep well.  The boys were camping.  Yep...CAMPING.  Did you see the pouring rain for days?  I kept thinking of my poor little skinny Cooper freezing in a damp tent.  It just sounds miserable to me.  I was never meant to sleep in a tent.  I remember going to girls camp in my teens and using all my camp bedding to try to create furniture in the tent.  Cabins are another story.  I think real women sleep in cabins...or hotels.

Today is an extra special day.  I get to attend 2 baptisms, one of a sweet little girl and the other my kind, compassionate cousin's.  There is a peaceful joy that attends these events and it's a blessing to all who attend.

How much do you think a laundry basket full of dirty clothes weighs?  Do you think that is over my weight restriction limit? How about a dirty plate?  The vacuum?  I'm now wondering if the doctor should have written a prescription for a housekeeper for the next couple of weeks.  Get up Leslie.  Get up.