Positive Reinforcement

Motherhood is hard.  Seriously challenging.  I remember when my boys were babies thinking it was hard because I was exhausted all the time and they were so dependent upon me.  I felt so much responsibility for every thing I did with them, or forgot, or messed up.  Many an adult told me how difficult the teenage years would be, how you just get busier as they get older, but I couldn't imagine it.  It couldn't be true.  Yet, here I sit, in the midst of it.  One who is considered an adult and one who is in the twilight of his tween life. 

On one hand, I reflect on what I could have done better, the teaching moments I missed, the pieces that don't fit.  I try to read between the lines and pick up on the clues, yet so much remains a puzzle. Then there are the times I can't believe the goodness in my children, much more than I could have taught them.  Those moments where their individual gifts are unmasked and I know I had no part in it, but I'm still so proud.  Today I saw one of those moments. 

Due to my new work location next year, Cooper will be attending a different middle school than all of elementary friends.  He was broken hearted, sobbing for hours which was quite reflective of how I was feeling.  I've watched him deliberately try to warm up to the idea.  Today was leap day and he was able to meet his team teachers and tour the school.  I took him, but stayed back and peeked at him from time to time.

One of the games they played was a type of "who did this" scavenger hunt and the kids were asked to approach other students they didn't know to get their initials on the things they had done.  It took me back to the many times I was forced to do this kind of thing, even as an adult, and how uncomfortable it made me feel.  I watched Coop go from person to person.  Part way into the game, a new girl came into the cafeteria.  It was obvious she had some special needs and there was an adult there to help her.  Immediately, Cooper went up to her.  He smiled at her, asked her to inital something on his paper, and then he initialed something on hers.

Tears filled my eyes as I watched his kind heart work.  I don't think I would have done that.  So I became the student and challenged myself to be more like him.  Moments like this are the kind of positive reinforcement mother's need.  The reminder that sometimes we get it right, or at least our kids do.