Exhibitionist in the Making

This past weekend was a rare treat, a girls only trip for the ladies in my family. We headed to Colorado Springs to spend Mother's Day with my parents. I'll tell you a bit more about that trip in a different post. This post is dedicated to the unexpected accosting I was the recipient of at the Boise Airport

Misti & I flew out of Boise together. After my good friend Shawna drove us to the airport, we checked our bags & headed to security. I gave the uniformed gentlemen my I.D. and then headed for the x-ray machines. Somehow, a non-girl ended up between Misti and I, so I graciously let him step in front of me so Misti and I could gawk at people together.

I took off my shoes & jacket, placing them in a container and then put my juvenile looking backpack in the next one. As I started to move toward the conveyor belt, a woman opened a magical glass door and, with a smile, ushered me in. FOREBODING: Feeling a bit comical, I said, "I know you are trying to make me think I won something, but I know what you are up to", when in hindsight, I had NO idea.

The kind, girl-next-door officer said she was going to have to wand me and if it went off, she would have to pat me down in the area. She then offered a private room to which I replied (still feeling giddy), "Only if you are going to touch any private areas" to which she replied, still smiling, "I may have to pat down your behind, but I'll use the back of my gloved hand". That was a huge red flag I missed.

So, I stood with my arms held out to the side (you have to be in shape and a showgirl for this situation) while she started to wand me. The first place she stopped: My bosomy area. You see, I wear an underwire bra made out of plastic explosives...or so the wand thought. The patting began, all over my bosomy area and between the girls, in front of everyone. Now, that may have silenced some people, but it brought out the embarrassing giggly girl in me. So, I said to Misti, I guess kind of loudly, "I just got felt up". Guess what? When you say something like that, all men look in your direction. It's true. It was a hypothesis before, but I proved it on this trip.

Then, there was this little girl, staring at me like I was a peculiar animal in a cage. The now, not so friendly, touchy security lady asked if she was my daughter to which I responded, "No, she's just in enjoying the show". Those security people totally lack a sense of humor. Also, whenever I would make eye contact with Misti, she would blush and then avert her eyes.

After getting my rear patted, pulling the top of my pants down (hope you all enjoyed my silkies) and watching my security guard go from friendly to way TOO friendly, I was out of there.

Note to self: Don't ever let someone cut in front of you in the airport security line and don't wear an underwire bra and take the private room.

Alter Ego: Shaggy Montana

Escaping from a time portal and entering this era is the creepy perv you used to see trolling the roller rink. He looks harmless, but there's always a little bit of spittle sliding out the side of his mouth and his eyes always seem somewhat weepy.

In full leather and metallic attire, he slips on his white roller skates and finds himself where ever small groups of young girls are congregated. Sadly, they aren't even aware he is there. Be safe girls. Be safe.

Shake your Prom Prom

I knew Hunter was going to prom and that's about all I knew. Boys don't get giddy and they are pretty tightlipped about their plans which can only make a mom anxious.

The first shock of the day was when Hunter asked where his jeans were. That may not seem like an abnormal questions for most mothers, but I happen to know that Hunter doesn't wear jeans. I know that because I have spent money on jeans that sit in his closet year after year. This was a paparazzo moment.

The 2nd shock was the entire prom date. Did you know in the Boise, Idaho, area that prom isn't just a dance? It's an all day affair. ALL DAY. Hunter was out the door at 10:30am and got home at 1:30am (today). First, they went to the mall to play some game like cops & robbers. I hope they weren't being literal.

Next, they went to Panda Express, got food and went to the park. Somehow, it didn't start to rain again until they were leaving.











Then, it was home for about an hour to get ready (those poor girls). Hunter barely made it and it usually takes him about 6 minutes to get ready for the day.

They were supposed to meet at our house at 4:15pm for pics, but, not surprisingly, the deadline lapsed. I left at 4:45 and they were still waiting for 2 couples. Kurt became the photog and probably did better than I usually do.



Note: The fabulous corsage was made by Kristin Whitby. Isn't it gorgeous??



They guys took the girls to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner, then went to the park for formal pictures, then off to the prom. Hunter drove his date and Calvin + date in my fancy Ford Escort that he has cluttered up. Classy. After prom, from what I know, they went to John Doe's house and watched a video. I loved getting to see all the girls in their beautiful dresses. Hunter's date is a doll and is a friend of Hunter's which makes prom a lot more fun. Now this sporadic annual event can be crossed of the list. PHEW!

Time is Vanishing

I hope our house does.

Old stuff

Trying to do my best mom impression, I went along on Cooper's field trip last week. We saw a lot of old stuff and a lot of dead stuff. First we went to the pioneer cemetary. When Coop told me that was where we were headed, I didn't really believe him. He does mishear things sometimes, but sure enough that is where we went. We tromped through wet grass to look at pioneers who made an impact on Idaho History. Well, not the pioneers themselves...that would be inappropriate.

We then went to a park to eat where we shivered and shook until we got to go into the Idaho History Museum. I really like the stuffed 2 headed lamb and the portrait room showing pictures of child labor. Cooper's teacher took a ride on the wild side and I played chaperone to 7 very fun children. I was glad to get home and take off my soaking wet socks & shoes and think about how happy I am to be alive.

Get down

Hunter, much to his disdain, participated in our regional dance festival. Kurt, Cooper & I had a blast watching him and A LOT of other youth shake their money makers. For the opening and closing number, which included a little too much gyrating, Hunter held the flag off to the side, but he did participate in one dance number and the only reason I have proof is because I found the picture on his dance partner's (for that part) blog. I stole it. But I'm giving her credit...thanks Ashley. Let me tell you, Hunter was fantastic. I had no idea. Work it Hunter!

Surprise!

About a week or so ago, Hunter worked up enough courage to ask a girl to prom. He wasn't going to go to prom until his senior year, but since we are moving he wanted to go with his friends here. He made a little basket with eggs. Some of the tiny eggs held golden chocolate eggs with a one word message and the young lady put them all together, they spelled out an invitation to prom.

He's been waiting, not quite with baited breath, but waiting nonetheless. Last night he got home about 11:15pm from work. About 11:30pm there was a BANG, BANG, BANG on the door. We were in bed, but still awake. A few seconds later, Hunter came into our room carrying the yummiest looking cake with a little flag designating the whole thing to Hunter, even the muffin on top. Darn!!

Like excited little puppies, Kurt & I followed Hunter into the kitchen, possibly hoping for a piece of the delicious looking concoction. We had no idea was the "EEE" on the muffin meant, but we figured it was buried in the cake. Hunter started to cut the cake when it became very apparent it was not a cake at all.

Kurt & I helped him scrape off all the frosting only to find a phone book. Ahhh, not "EEE", "333". The search through the frosting edged phonebook began. One section after another, Hunter flipped and prodded. Until finally, with blue frosting fingers, he found what he had been looking for. "Yes".